Seeking Balance
After my Ph.D., I am as busy as ever.
I thought that after I finished my Ph.D., I would have time to breathe and consider my new status in life. I did not anticipate that it would only be the beginning of a new phase, one that I had often wished for, but never thought would come to fruition. The intellectual life of attending conferences, writing academic papers, writing books, and university teaching, has always been more practically spaced in my life - meaning, I did these things, but often one at a time, and at my own pace.
However, it seems that when it rains, it pours. Now the writing projects are all pouring, along with preparations for the start of the school year, on the heels of a massively important conference attended. Although I am extremely grateful, it puts me in a bit of a tizzy, taking up the same pace I had when I wrote my dissertation. I am relieved, however, that I have found good people to help me, in my writing, for example, and in consultation about my academic career. It turns out, getting the Ph.D. is not the end, it is only the beginning.
In this sense, I hope to maintain my equanimity, despite this pace, and the new projects I find myself in. Exercise, I think, is extremely important, in order to use a different part of my brain, and jiujitsu is especially helpful for me for that. Add that I have noticed that people in the academe are often less healthy, because writing and thinking necessitates carbs, and that sitting and thinking in one place for long spaces of time are par for the profession.
Journaling helps, although God knows when was the last time I wrote in a journal. Walking in nature helps. Singing helps. Anything that involves the human body, instead of relying merely on one’s brain cells, help. I am a great believer in the importance of experiencing the world in real life, or as the kids call it, IRL, as real life experiences are vastly preferable over those filtered by the internet, the screen, or the cellphone.
Traveling helps. How can I explain that I do not like South Korea, and yet, South Korea was a treasure trove of signs and spectacles? How do I explain how profoundly moved I was by my trip, and yet, have no real affection for the Korean people or indeed, the Korean nation? Aside from BTS, and a few choice Korean movies, I am unmoved by Korean soft power.
And yet, nature presented itself to me, coincidences seemed more like synchronicities, and commonplace miracles revealed themselves. In Korea, I felt that the world was created for me to experience, instead of me experiencing the world. And yet, who am I? Just one human being, having a profound human experience; a wave in the sea, and the sea in a wave.
I did not expect to end this in a profound manner. I only wanted to say that I needed to balance the busy academic life I find myself in. And yet, maybe the effort to find balance in chaos is profound in itself. It is an effort done against the current, a radical hope reached out for, instead of succumbing to existential intellectual despair,
